Original ArticleDoctors Call Out Deceased Treanor As "Lightweight"
".29 BAC? What Is This, Middle School? Wait, Why Am I Fired?"
District Attorney's Office Investigating Sharpie Doodles From Autopsy
Original ArticleChairman Of The Board Of Trustees Writes Even-Handed Opinion Article
It Is Unanimously "A Great Time To Be At GW" As Title Suggests
Man With Hammer-Related Head Injury Gives Thumbs Up
Original ArticleGW Alum Disapproved For DC Parks & Rec Position
Council Members Cite Hartsock's Ignorance of Black Culture
Retort "But I Was Educated At GW!" Met With Guffaws and Knee-Slaps
Original ArticleGW Hatchet Assumes Cross-Dressers Allergic To Water
Odd One-Off Stereotype Mercifully Cut Down By Events of 10/29
Origin Theories Involve Confusion Of Cross-Dressers With The Aliens From "Signs"
Original ArticleVerizon Center Booked For Storage Of GW Endowment
GW Spokeswoman: "Over A Billion Dollars Doesn't Just House Itself"
In Case Of Rain, Parents Will Not Get To Watch Their Children Graduate
Original ArticleStudents Reading Article On Flu Dangers Of Beer Pong Remember To Buy Cups For This Weekend Headline "Beer Pong May Pose Flu Threat" Causes Shouts of "Woo! Beer Pong!"
Area CVS Owners Pick Up Thursday's Hatchet, Subsequently Rejoice
Original ArticleHatchet Opinion Article Points To Bestiality Films As "Better Standard" For Marriage
Values Flicks With Such Titles As "Beauty And The Beast" Above Classics Like Cinderella
"Human-on-Animal and Animal-on-Animal Viewing Will Curb Divorce" (Paraphrased)
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